Sunday, September 30, 2012

True Stories

I have nothing of picture-worth to post this week.

So, I'll just update on a few things that have been happening and have happened lately.

You can read it if you like, but just as a forewarning, some of it is venting...

True story #1: Insensitivity

Seth spoke in church a couple weeks ago, but wasn't able to give his whole talk (which was going to be awesome, by the way).

He was to speak last, and the two speakers ahead of him took too much time.

Speaker number one cried throughout most of her speaking time, so it was rather hard to even understand what she was saying while she spoke...which is fine, just cried too much.

Speaker number two spoke.so.slow.

He also didn't really keep on subject and ended up talking for 20 minutes after his wife had already talked for the same amount of time.

Normally, it wouldn't bother me, but I knew how great Seth's talk was, and I really wanted him to get to give the whole thing.

Seth was going to bring up the twins during his talk and share some personal, but very applicable information.

Since he didn't end up getting the time to do so, he ended up leaving the girls out of it.

I was a bit bummed.

Partially because I feel like members of our ward family should know information like that.

That is, until ward choir happened I felt that way.

Here's the info...

Apparently, I looked like I was in pain that day...because I was.

Lilia was laying on my nerve that was right by my left hip/pelvis area.

Not comfy.

It seemed as though everyone decided to either say something about it or make fun of me in some way by mimicking my movements that day.

Just in case you weren't aware, it's not a good idea to say or do anything like that to an uncomfortable 9-months pregnant woman you barely know.

It's a great way to make her feel extremely self-conscious...which she most likely is already feeling that way anyway.

An elderly woman in choir said to me after I told her I wasn't feeling too great that day, "well, at least you don't know what it's like having twins."

I was a little taken aback, but I just brushed it aside (as it hasn't been the first time something like this has been said to me by someone not knowing my history).
I, tentatively, decided to tell her Actually, I do know what it's like having twins, but they passed away about a year and a half ago.

"How far along were you?" was her follow up thought.

Not, "I'm sorry" like I usually get...

30 weeks I tell her.

"Well...you still don't know what it's like to be at the very end of a pregnancy with twins."

I was shocked.

I wanted to scream at her something along the lines of do you have any idea how much I wish I knew what that was like?

But, instead I just said, True.

And left it alone.

I guess there are just some people out there who think everything is a competition they have to win.

To top it off, today, this same lady kept mentioning the fact that things for her were so much harder than they are for me since she had twins and couldn't move at the end, and I'm moving just fine.

I don't know if she really heard me when I told her that information that previous Sunday, or if she's just trying to rub it in that she made it to the end of her twin pregnancy and I didn't, and, therefore, had to have had a much harder pregnancy than me when she has absolutely no idea, nor seems to care, what my pregnancies are like.

Most insensitive lady I've ever met award.

She's old and probably not even thinking about what she's saying or thinking about how it may effect me.

So, I just need to forgive her.

I may have to avoid her for a bit to be able to.

Good thing I'm going to be out for the count for a little while, I guess.

True story #2: Private

(No, I'm not making the blog private.)

We ate at A&W on Friday for our "date" night.

We are so classy.

Really, I just wanted the root beer.

Lilia loves her some root beer.

When we first arrived, Seth and Porter made an emergency run to the potty while I waited near the cashier.

The girl behind the counter asked me if I was having a boy or a girl.

Normal question, so I answered.

Then she asked how old Porter was.

Again, another normal question I have no problem answering to a stranger.

This next question, though, threw me off.

"So, are you done having kids after this one?"

Uh...

What?

No, really, I had to ask her to repeat it because I couldn't believe I was just asked that by someone I've never met.

When she did, I told her I didn't know.

Do I have a sign on my forehead that says, "ask me ANY question you like"?

Whatever happened to privacy?

Honestly, I don't even really know the answer to that question.

One baby at a time.

Let me have this baby, have a break from pregnancy for a while, and I'll decide that one in another few years when I'm not currently pregnant.

True story #3: The Mean Lady

We live in the middle floor of an apartment complex.

We have neighbors above, below, and behind us.

We've lived in many apartment complexes before, and even in the middle floor, but never have we had a problem like this.

I've reported my basement neighbor for harassment to my apartment manager.

She seems to think that I "let Porter run amok" just to spite her.

Porter is four.

He is active.

He runs around.

He's very normal.

She came up one day all out of breath and irate to "tell me off", when I had no idea she was bothered.

Side note: we had only lived here for about 2 weeks at this time.

She was so upset about us making noise that she wouldn't even let me get any words in to try to calm her down.

When I told her to be patient with us, she proceeded to tell me how to parent.

The conversation was over shortly after that due to the fact I was shooting darts out my eyes.

Plus, Seth was there and heard it all and was about to come over and yell at her.

I had stayed quite calm everywhere except in my eyes.

Although the conversation was over, the harassment started.

I started hearing banging coming from her apartment every time we made a noise all day long.

When I had guests over, when Porter was just walking to his room, and even when I accidentally dropped my hairdryer.

I started thinking she was following me around the home with a broom aimed at her ceiling.

When Seth accidentally knocked the cork board off the wall, and simultaneously knocked over a chair with her broom reaction less than a minute later, I had had enough.

That's when I reported her.

I've never had to do that in the 14 other places we have lived before.

I really didn't know what else to do, though.

Porter started referring to her as "the mean lady" who bangs at us (can thank Seth for that), and would tell me to somehow get the upstairs neighbors to stop making banging noises like our basement neighbor wants us to stop.

I would tell him we're not mean like "the mean lady", and loud noises from neighbors are normal.

But, I could tell he was confused because Seth and I would try to get him to be "softer" all the time.

I couldn't help but wonder what would happen after Lilia's birth.

Babies fall over.

All.the.time.

I didn't want her with her broom every one of those times.

So, what choice did I have?

I didn't want to pound back at her, because that wouldn't solve anything.

After reporting her, I didn't hear much of anything coming from the basement until last week.

But, because she banged her broom at us mid-day again, I didn't stop Porter from running around the house with his ball.

So, I guess this time, yes, I let him continue to make noise just to spite her.

If you want to live in an apartment complex, you have to deal with noise from neighbors!

We're not even bad neighbors!

We don't party until the late hours every weekend/night, we don't turn our sound system up to show off our awesome bass, and we are all in bed by 11.

Pretty sure that can be classified as boring.

Worst part about all this is, she has a kid.

She shouldn't even be having a problem with us.

True story #4: Ready or Not

I've been having contractions for the past few days pretty regularly.

Nothing "labor-worthy" as of yet, but I've had a couple times where I'm watching the clock.

I'm scheduled to be induced this week, but if she keeps this up, perhaps she'll come before the induction date.

If she does, we're still not ready in the apartment, but we're pretty close!

I'm hoping to get it all done before the day.

Even if I don't get it completely ready, she's coming!!

Couldn't be more excited!!

I've been pregnant, basically, for the past 18 months.

I'm beyond ready to be holding and caring for a baby on the outside!

I've been pregnant so long, I don't really remember what it's like to not be pregnant.

...Weird...

3 comments:

Laura, Ella, and a Pair of Toms said...

You forgot some things in your post:
1 - you have the most awesome neighbors ever across the hall from you ;) hahaha
2 - that stupid lady downstairs' son is a total nuisance! He harasses other people in the complex, and he and his friends bully the other kids. Ew. Stupid people.
3 - I know who you are talking about in the ward choir. Yeah...she can say some pretty insensitive things. I have just convinced myself that she is senile and means well, and then it makes it less offensive. hehehe :)

Congratulations again on passing your test - which you failed to post about!!! AND I can't wait till you have your baby!!! BABY!! *girly squeal* I'm getting a little baby hungry, can you tell??? :) haha! Man, your next door neighbors are so weird...hahaha :)

Laura Howe said...

I can't believe the lady in choir!! Out of control. I can however believe the lady asking you if you were going to have more. Surprisingly some people think children having is not personal. Annoying. I hate that question. :) start telling them you are just getting started.

Unknown said...

Oh man! I am so mad at the lady in your ward for saying those things. You are much better at biting your tongue than I would be. In fact, I am going to go yell at her myself.

Ii think it's strange that being pregnant is like a sign to strangers that you can ask any question you want. Ii also hate the way people think it's okay to say things like "Wow! You look like you're going to pop!" or "Boy, I sure hope that baby is coming soon...." when you are only 6 months along. Grr....

As for the apartment complex thing...After managing apartments for a few years I got so tired of the people that would complain to me about their "loud" neighbors walking around, using the microwave or even showering at night or early in the morning. I was always like, "Well, you live in an apartment complex. There will be noise. Quiet hours are from 8am to 10 pm. Come back if you have problems within the quiet hours. Thanks." People are just grumpy all the time, I guess. Her banging on her ceiling is actually something I would have fined her for because it went against the noise policy. Ha.